Thank You

Yesterday at the end of my work day, I got some news. It was actually something about my performance for the yearly cycle being rated the best. My manager gave me this news. She was pretty excited about sharing it with me and told me what a wonderful job I did.

She was expecting me to be more excited than I was. Somehow, I wasn't blown away. I did make the right sounds, and thanked her for doing her part in representing me. Don't get me wrong, I was thankful for having such a great manager, a good team, the opportunnity to work on something challenging. But it was more a 'Thank You for finally noticing and acknowledging my good work' feeling than 'Yes, I feel on top of the world'.

Then I got thinking when I came home. A part of me is really happy and filled with gratitude that I've recieved such good recognition in the company. But another part of me got thinking about how I felt two years ago.

Two years ago, I was working as hard as I am working now, I was doing awesome things and I badly wanted the best appraisal rating. But my appraisal did not go as I wanted it to and I got a mediocre rating.I was really devasted and went through a really depressed phase. I hated going to work. Cut back to today, I am so busy with a multitude of new goals and milestones that I have to touch by 2013, that something like my appraisal did not even sink in as an achievement.

It feels like I am in un-ending run, where I always reach a goal 2 years later, by which time that particular achievement becomes irrelevant. I am 26 years old and will be 27 in 5 months. I feel 'behind' my peers in many many things. Many of my friends tel me that I am wrong to think so, but I can't help looking at these aquantainces who lead such plush, 'have it all' lives and feel like a failure.

At the end of the day, such self-induced comparisions really don't matter. But what really hurts is
1.  Not being able to hit my own targets ON TIME.
2. Constantly living in a state of fear that I will fail at achieving my life goals
This is the point where I stop myself and remind that I should be thankful for what I have, what I've recieved and achieved TODAY and not worry all the time.

Sometimes you got to live in The Present and forget 'The Big Picture'
 

Welcome.. 2013

The new year is here, so wishing all my non-existent readers a wonderful year ahead.


Thank you for being so kind in supporting me on this blog :P I feel extremely grateful for having such wonderful people rooting for me and inspiring me to write to my heart's content :)

So, coming to what cool stuff I have lined up for this year... For the first time in years I don't have any mind-blowing list of resolutions (which I never follow). I just want to stop planning and start living this year.

2012 is a few 'DOWNs' and a lot of  'UPs'. I hope that 2013 will be more beautiful, more peaceful and less stressful. Here's to wishful thinking!!

1. Anyway, finally two of my designs are complete. I am waiting to go collect them from the tailors. Let us see how well my designs have been conceptualized. Will keep you all posted. I hope I look this excited when I see them tomorrow.

2. Apart from that, for the first time in years I am starting to take care of my skin ... NOT in a crazy 'product junkie' or 'I'm gonna put every damn  skin lotion and potion available out there' way. More like, I'd like to start taking care of what is naturally good skin.. My only agenda is to hydrate my skin more. (No, I don't need the excessive toning and cleansing.. because I never wear make :) )


3. My hair is still growing and I think it will touch my waist in the next few months, that is if I don't trim a zillion times! (I seriously have OCD)

4. I am in two minds if I want to incorporate more color-blocking or prints in my wardrobe.. hmm.. tough choice..