The other day I read an article in Marie Claire which explained why women may end up crying at work while men don't.
Apparently crying has direct linkage to the estrogen and prolactin the body produces. There were many other reasons explained in a "no nonsense psychological perspective". Find the article here
Anyways, today I came up with my own list of "How to think and act like a man.."
Oh yeah.... as a 21st century liberal women, I should embrace my feminism and feel comfortable in it, be completely in love with the Earthy Goddess/Crazy Banshee/Emotional Woman inside me.
Stop that crap! But why?.. well, you'll know why when a person at work or in life says something on the lines of "Why are you soooo emotional/ You are taking things to heart/I don't see why you interpreted it that way/There is no reason to cry".. (Oh! it gets better!..then the person sighs and gives an expression which reads "Typical Girl Material")
So my dear girls, here is the list... Kick some ass out there.. Think exactly as men do!
1. If something upsetting happens (co-worker giving you a hard time/boss yelling at you/a fight with the sales person), don't go over every small detail again and again in your head. This kind of obsessing behavior only leads to "too much talk about a bad day" and might even lead to tears. Instead, take your mind off it, cook, clean, watch TV, play a game, yell swear words at that f**king bad driver infront of you, blow the horn off, have crazy non-stop sex with your significant other.... Whatever, just chuck it...
2. Keep "Love", "Life", "Career" in different intellectual, financial, emotional boxes in your head. Don't toss contents or feelings from one box to the other. Yeah, we are told thinking of the "big picture" is important. But, on a daily basis, just chuck the "big picture". Fix/ Approach each box or department seperately.
3. Don't overanalyze, don't over think, just let go and if you are one of those persons who absolutely needs to think always - pick a puzzle, a crossword, sudoku, unscramble, break your head over it. But, don't you dare think about that tiny, little smirk the office b***h gave you, don't overanalyze the tone of your colleague, don't even add any more weight to that "I love you" your boyfriend whispers in your ear everyday (For God's sake! .. today's 'I love you' is no different. He says it everyday because 'he loves you'. That's it! That extra sexy whisper you detected doesn't mean he is putting the ring on your finger today. He'll do when he is ready and No! he doesn't drop hints about it, you idiot!)
4. Don't multitask! Just don't!! Yes, there was a time, not even a decade ago, when this was actually claimed as the reason for women getting sooo much done in a day. Men were told they were not equipped to multi-task.(and we thought "poor idiots!") But now, it has been scientifically concluded that multitasking in the head, at work, at home will only bring down the quality of your work! Yes, it does. You have too many thoughts, too many tasks, and then what happens?... you snap at the first person who has a squeaky voice, you give the "I'm irritated" face to your man!, you almost tell your kid to 'shut the f**k up'. Then what happens?.. You feel bad, you apologize, you try to explain why you lost it, and then .. you cry!! :(
5. You don't need to show your love, hate, feelings in words all the time. What is it about women, which makes us say "I love you darling!" and never hear it half those times from our men and then brood over this fact? What is it about us that makes us whisper to our best friend "I hate her guts!" about a colleague and keep talking about all the stupid stuff she did to us for an hour, then feel bad "Oh my god!, I just b***hed about her". Instead why can't you just ignore her at the cafeteria and when somebody else whispers to you "XYZ did something new with her hair", just give a nonchalant "uh-huh" and enjoy the bloody coffee! If you really want to show love towards somebody, catch a game of Wii with them, have a pillow fight, and then go back to painting your nails! Simple.
6. Get rid of the guilt when you feel you were bitchy or unfair towards someone. If you care about this person, just cool it off for a while and then say "So, how about a beer and wings?", "How about some pop-corn and dvds tonight." If you don't care about this person, or he was stranger whom you can't find and apologize, just master the concept of "subjective memory" I'm not asking you to be a an actual b***h all the time and then make up. I'm just asking you to cut your self some slack.. and tell yourself - "Hey I'm just human... cut the chase.. get some food and fun in the system"
So, this is my list girls... If you have some more, please do add up! Thanks :)
Your's truly, manly :P
Sivani
(yeah I know, signing off as "manly" is going to turn off all those guys.. you know what! I don't give a rat's hoot about you idiots!!!!! "Kiss My ..." I'm getting some vodka with my pasta and then I'm going to watch TV while I pick my teeth!..)
Apparently crying has direct linkage to the estrogen and prolactin the body produces. There were many other reasons explained in a "no nonsense psychological perspective". Find the article here
Anyways, today I came up with my own list of "How to think and act like a man.."
Oh yeah.... as a 21st century liberal women, I should embrace my feminism and feel comfortable in it, be completely in love with the Earthy Goddess/Crazy Banshee/Emotional Woman inside me.
Stop that crap! But why?.. well, you'll know why when a person at work or in life says something on the lines of "Why are you soooo emotional/ You are taking things to heart/I don't see why you interpreted it that way/There is no reason to cry".. (Oh! it gets better!..then the person sighs and gives an expression which reads "Typical Girl Material")
So my dear girls, here is the list... Kick some ass out there.. Think exactly as men do!
1. If something upsetting happens (co-worker giving you a hard time/boss yelling at you/a fight with the sales person), don't go over every small detail again and again in your head. This kind of obsessing behavior only leads to "too much talk about a bad day" and might even lead to tears. Instead, take your mind off it, cook, clean, watch TV, play a game, yell swear words at that f**king bad driver infront of you, blow the horn off, have crazy non-stop sex with your significant other.... Whatever, just chuck it...
2. Keep "Love", "Life", "Career" in different intellectual, financial, emotional boxes in your head. Don't toss contents or feelings from one box to the other. Yeah, we are told thinking of the "big picture" is important. But, on a daily basis, just chuck the "big picture". Fix/ Approach each box or department seperately.
3. Don't overanalyze, don't over think, just let go and if you are one of those persons who absolutely needs to think always - pick a puzzle, a crossword, sudoku, unscramble, break your head over it. But, don't you dare think about that tiny, little smirk the office b***h gave you, don't overanalyze the tone of your colleague, don't even add any more weight to that "I love you" your boyfriend whispers in your ear everyday (For God's sake! .. today's 'I love you' is no different. He says it everyday because 'he loves you'. That's it! That extra sexy whisper you detected doesn't mean he is putting the ring on your finger today. He'll do when he is ready and No! he doesn't drop hints about it, you idiot!)
4. Don't multitask! Just don't!! Yes, there was a time, not even a decade ago, when this was actually claimed as the reason for women getting sooo much done in a day. Men were told they were not equipped to multi-task.(and we thought "poor idiots!") But now, it has been scientifically concluded that multitasking in the head, at work, at home will only bring down the quality of your work! Yes, it does. You have too many thoughts, too many tasks, and then what happens?... you snap at the first person who has a squeaky voice, you give the "I'm irritated" face to your man!, you almost tell your kid to 'shut the f**k up'. Then what happens?.. You feel bad, you apologize, you try to explain why you lost it, and then .. you cry!! :(
5. You don't need to show your love, hate, feelings in words all the time. What is it about women, which makes us say "I love you darling!" and never hear it half those times from our men and then brood over this fact? What is it about us that makes us whisper to our best friend "I hate her guts!" about a colleague and keep talking about all the stupid stuff she did to us for an hour, then feel bad "Oh my god!, I just b***hed about her". Instead why can't you just ignore her at the cafeteria and when somebody else whispers to you "XYZ did something new with her hair", just give a nonchalant "uh-huh" and enjoy the bloody coffee! If you really want to show love towards somebody, catch a game of Wii with them, have a pillow fight, and then go back to painting your nails! Simple.
6. Get rid of the guilt when you feel you were bitchy or unfair towards someone. If you care about this person, just cool it off for a while and then say "So, how about a beer and wings?", "How about some pop-corn and dvds tonight." If you don't care about this person, or he was stranger whom you can't find and apologize, just master the concept of "subjective memory" I'm not asking you to be a an actual b***h all the time and then make up. I'm just asking you to cut your self some slack.. and tell yourself - "Hey I'm just human... cut the chase.. get some food and fun in the system"
So, this is my list girls... If you have some more, please do add up! Thanks :)
Your's truly, manly :P
Sivani
(yeah I know, signing off as "manly" is going to turn off all those guys.. you know what! I don't give a rat's hoot about you idiots!!!!! "Kiss My ..." I'm getting some vodka with my pasta and then I'm going to watch TV while I pick my teeth!..)
5 comments:
I see truly loads of compliments for Men here. Reading between the lines is not a "man's" area of expertise though.
The signing off was particularly nice. :)
I second the comment above that men are not very good at reading between lines. Honestly, as you said, 'dont give a rat's hoot about it'.. If it were important, they would have put it straight enough for you to understand.
I have to say that women have their own areas of authority -- observing one's mom would definitely explain what they are. Dads are way behind.. :)
Hope you live up to your suggestions and I'm sure you'd see yourself smiling more often...
i m still waiting, if any girl wud comment on dis post. need some closure.
Hey Vagabond.. long time no see.. yeah dude! It's totally girly to read between the lines.. n there you go.. A girl jus posted.. My closure report :)
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