Who are you again? / My list of 25 - Part 2

13. I love ads!
Yes, I love watching ads. I heart them! I critique them. I collect them. .. paper clippings, videos, virals.. everything I like. There is something absolutely fabulous about being able to tell a story and sell a product, (don't forget the catchy jingle in the background) in less than a minute! In fact it's almost embarrassing to admit that I know which advertising agency is running which brand campaign, which ad guy is responsible for which ad. I heart O & M though it has turned into a mammoth white elephant in some marketing divisions these days..  If I could meet one awesome person who is dead now, that would be David Ogilvy.

14. I doubt love.
I sometimes doubt if love is just a mushy word invented by the capitalist producer to sell is products. Is love a concept invented to sell diamonds, electric cookers, Asian paints, high-end furniture, houses, lipstick and everything else under Sun. Well, I might've lost my mind, but what if we are living our whole lives in a matrix injected with a virus/drug called LOVE :P. Chillax, I just lost my head for a few moments :) But that does not change the fact that 'I doubt love' and I might even be on the capitalist's side

15. I have a love-hate relation with..
my hair. I love those waves and curls. There are days when it takes almost all my will power not to get it  cut off into a Halle Berry style shag. I keep toying with the idea of chemical treatments and then think that's not me. To avoid all this drama, I try to ignore my mane. But, it comes in flashes the minute somebody checks out my hair in the middle of a conversation, I keep kicking myself "Just drag your ass to the salon and straighten it out"

16. I'm short.
I'm 156 cm tall and weigh 101 pounds. People say I'm petite. Then some people say I've curves. Then, a lady asked if I got ... a surgery! Yeah, crazy but true!(I was amused too!) It would be a lie to say I have no body issues. On a general note, I love myself and thank God for doing a pretty good job. But there are those days.. even when my weight has never crossed 105 pounds, I feel fat and I feel mad at all the unnecessary curves. I feel sad and bad when strangers ogle me (no! I'm not making it up in my head!) and never look me in the eye. Phew! That was tough to admit... but there, I said it!

17. I love to make lists..
and it genuinely helps me. I like checking off the tasks on my list. But, generally the list is always appended and there's something new! Never-ending 'to-do's - that's me!

18. I love trivia, research and analysis.
I heart trivia! From how many neck bones does a Giraffe has? to What makes Suzanne Vega's 'Tom's Diner so special? to Oxytocin and it effects. I love reading everything under the sun. I love research and analysis - numbers, statistics, polls, conclusions, decisions made from data, synthesizing date. It just turns me on! Oh, btw, I think wikipedia will be my first love forever. I find reading wiki pages therapeutic (yes, I know some of them might be wrong!)

19. I have almost no friends from school.
I have acquaintances from school, but no real friends! That's true. My dad worked as a teacher at the same school. In fact he taught me for an year. Basically, when your dad is teacher at the same school and he is pretty good at getting the needful done by all his students, you don't have many friends in your class. Well, who would want to come to me and bitch about how nasty the teachers are when I'm a teacher's kid!? Moreover, I wasn't great at sports either! I always wanted to live in the Library. That makes a nerd! not the kind who tops in the class, but the kind who would get excited about reading the encyclopedia :)

20. I was pretty 'un-cool' at school.
Everyone knew me at school. No one was a friend. Add to #20. the fact that I was good at co-curricular. I never missed participating in the public-speaking competitions at school. I represented by school in all sorts of inter-school competitions for elocution, essay-writing and every thing of that sort! I remember missing the prize only twice - once at school and once at an inter-school competition. I won at least the second or third if not the first whenever I participated. Oh! Did I mention that it was considered super-cool to be one of the kids in the audience and act as if you did not care about these competitions in my school? Well then, the above details make me the 'un-coolest' one! Who would want to be friends with this girl who is always on stage giving a bhashan or winning a prize? Oh btw, I never needed extra-coaching classes after school. Yeah, I lived during a time when it was considered cool to mob at 'tution-class' :) Do I really feel I missed out on something. Surprisingly 'NO'. I did not have friends at school. That doesn't mean I did not have friends outside school. Honestly some of them much more cooler than my school kids. I felt more socially accepted among them. I never needed to 'live up' to many perceived 'cool standards.'

21. I cook with colors.
Yes, as much as taste is important for me, I always love to cook with lots of color. Lack of color is one of the reasons I don't prefer cooking some Indian recipes. (Yes, some of the Indian recipes are just dipped in all-consuming brown color due to excessive masala. Another important reason being excessive usage of chilli powder and unhealthy methods of cooking like deep frying in a pool of oil!) I love my food to have the playfulness of red, green and yellow peppers, the earthiness of mushrooms, the lushness of parsley, the happiness of carrots, the balance of cabbage. Yes, that's how I cook (and think)

22.  I believe real cooking is an art, balance, meditation and love.
Now, I never cook on all days of a week. Cooking everyday will make it a chore and I'll hate it. But when I do cook, I make a genuine effort to make it healthy and tasty. When I cook for somebody I like and care, I make an extra effort. This is what I believe - The food you serve to this person is actually your gift to them. It's going to become a part of them - their muscle, blood and energy. Make it as beautiful and tasty as possible without dipping it in excessive oil,  spices and salt. I know all of them add taste. But it takes a really skillful cook to achieve taste with restraint. It's like creating a painting which makes you fall in love, but is elusive enough that you can't figure what made you fall in love. Can there be a better gift? So put you heart and soul into it.

23. I can't watch reality TV
Most reality shows disgust me. This is a personal opinion. I'm sorry for offending all those people out there. I don't have it in me to watch people on reality shows. It turns me off to see people fall over each other to achieve things or impress people who aren't the best of people or things on the earth. I really can't watch the drama, the name-calling, the emotions which are mostly fake. I wouldn't say all reality shows are bad. I think Project Runway is really neat and real. I think Rahul ka Swayamvar and Splitville are pure hogwash and I can't stand them. I can watch such s**t only when I've totally lost my trust in mankind and it's purpose on earth. I'm not judging people who watch them or enjoy them.

24. I love manga, comics and animation movies and movies in general
Let's face it. I cry watching some movies (That was tough to admit! But I do.) I cried when Harvey Milk got shot in the movie and you hear his voice over about his purpose in life. I cried during Finding Nemo - not like 'bo-hooo-Nemo-got-lost!', but more like 'This-is-what-family-love-is. They-find-you-and-protect-you.' I cried when I watched Ratatouille. That was sooo Pixar man! I mean 'don't-give-up-on-your-dreams-even-if -you-are-surrounded-by-other-rats-who-eat-garbasge' kinda happy tears. Cmon! I like being a little kid who has a lot of happy tears sometimes (*sniff* *sniff*) . I love Manga! Those Japanese comics just drive me crazy with excitement. Read the Gauken Alice series on onemanga.com if you want to know what I mean. One day, I want to buy all the marvel comics and read crazy while I binge on spicy peanuts. Like a 'Comics-meets-Peanuts' marathon!

25. Phew! I can't think of one more crazy thing about me! Even if I know some more I don't want to write. You tell me!

Dear Friend..

Dear sweetie-pie,

It's been a while since I told you how much I like you. So I decided to write it up for you to read tomorrow morning.

1. Things have been rough for a while in terms of career. As much as you try to take the next step, everything around you is moving at snail pace. I just wanted to tell you how good you are at what you do. Though patience is not my forte, I'm advocating it with a lot of ice creams, yummy food, and exercise thrown into the mix. You've been doing your part. Continue doing it and let's be patient.

2. I particularly wanted to give you a big hug and a kiss for raising money for the baby's operation. It's really awesome that despite of your busy schedule and myriad, tiny frustrations of every day life (that we all have) you still managed to raise a substantial amount for an unknown baby getting operated in Delhi.

3. What's more amazing is, you made the task seem effortless. I saw you take calls during our commute and connect all the dots (and people). I saw you make time on busy days. Yes, if I tell this to our mutual friends, some of them will blabber about how you could've raised much more money by doing A, B and C. But, guess what, they did not lift a finger! I frankly don't care who COULD HAVE raised more money!

4. Do you even know about that imaginative, experimental brain of yours? You are always full of surprises. I wish that you stay this way all your life and bring happiness and pleasant surprises to all your loved ones.

5. The fact that you are willing to consider and make unconventional choices for the people you care is really awesome. The fact that you are not insecure when you see somebody grow is applaudable. What makes it more beautiful?.. you even help them grow! Yes, it's so rare see that in people now.

6. Just wanted to say.... all this and more. But, you can read between the lines :)
I just wanted to say .. THANK YOU... for being you!

Women at work

This post was supposed to be titled 'How to be a man .. at work' (I promised a friend that I would write a part 2 for How to be a man). Even before I started writing, I realised that it would be a contradiction of what I truly believe.

How to be a  man at work will just be a blog post about:
1. How not to care,
2. How to be a back stabber,
3. How to be a gender exclusive person,
4. How to ensure your promotion by getting into the 'boys club' and really do nothing else.

Unfortunately, though I've seen some good male-colleagues, the above mentioned points are true about a really big battalion of men.

To tell women how to be such a sorry excuse for a male-colleague was not my aim. Rather I wanted to write a post about
1. How to get what you want at work,
2. How to be more happy and efficient in your current position.
3. How to aspire for the next position and be good at it.
4. How to be a better boss/manager.

I worked with both male and female superiors at work. I don't have any particular gender preference .. because irrespective of gender, most of them sucked in their own way. A few of them, irrespective of their gender were awesome to work with.

Let me start by giving the usual disclaimer:
None of the details and examples refer to any living or dead managers.
The opinions expressed in this blog post are entirely mine. I'm exercising my right to self-expression here. I hope to shed some light on how it feels to be a women at work. I want to talk about how to be a better co-worker, better boss while getting what you want from your bosses.



The Mean lady
The Real Bad Part:
The minute a female boss expects daily status mails, asks you to be available on official chat, sets up official meetings to discuss issues and in general runs a tight-ship, she becomes the Mean, German Tyrant.
If a male boss does the same things, he is efficient, takes the bottom line, is well informed on what is going on in his team and has timely discussions with all stake-holders.

The Self-Induced Bad Part:
Yeah, some female bosses and colleagues do enough damage to aggravate the situation. They try to act more tough than they are, which comes out as -
1. Not giving a 2 hour break to an employee taking care of a family member in the hospital.
2. Seeding doubts in an employee by subtly hinting that other team members have given negative feedback about him/her.
3. Doing step 2. to everyone!
4. Always supporting the higher management even when they are wrong, giving an unrealistic picture to the top guys.
5. Setting unachievable targets and turning into a slave driver.

The reverse of this happens sometimes. Some female bosses or employees are nice, sweet, generally great to work with. But they suck as managers. 'Good Person-Bad Manager' Syndrome!

All the above mistakes - Don't men do them? Of course they do! But if a male boss makes these mistakes, he's just a bad manager. If a female boss makes these mistakes, she's a (bad manager)^9. As simple as that! That's how it is! So a female colleague or boss has to try harder to be a better manager and try even more harder not to fall into this whole, stereotypical "mean, narrow-minded, backstabbing, boot-licking manager" image.

2. Always a colleague, Never a friend
The Real Bad Part:
Yeah, you might be awesome at what you do. You might be super-helpful. You might be the team's 'Ms.Fix-it' for all issues. Uh... But the male boss or colleagues decide to invite all the men for drinks and choose to ignore you. They have inside jokes. There was that one time when they made a very bad remark about a lady in the next cubicle, and you chose to voice your opinion and set them right. There was this racist remark about Chinese employees, and you said something on the lines of "Ouch! That's pretty nasty". Yes, they call you "Ms. Goody Shoes" and don't invite you even for the coffee anymore!

The Self-Induced Part:
It's Friday night and everyone at work is meeting for a 'casual lounging, catching up, snacks and drinks' session at the local pub. They invite you too.
F: Uh.. I don't drink.
M: But 'So-n-So' doesn't drink too. You could just come along.
F. Umm.. (How do I get home so late? I never go pubbing! What would I d there? I'll feel uncomfortable! Do these people get too drunk and behave like complete idiots?) I really don't want to join you.
M: (What the bloody hell did I do to you, that you don't want to join me? Relax pretty girl, we won't eat you up!) OK. No problem

Sometimes it's really important to step out of your comfort zone.
A better response would have been
F: I really don't drink. But I won't mind joining you all  if one of you could drop me off after the party..
Or even better, with all the technology and services available now, you could even book a cab! (Info: Meru can send a cab in flat 20 minutes!)

Women tend to skip unofficial team-lunches, Sunday outings, and other team activities. (Your son's football match is a genuine reason. You, not wanting to inform your in-laws that you have an team-outing to attend on Sunday, just to avoid the questions, confrontation and explanations is 'avoiding')

3. Gender Bias:
The Real Bad Part:
I see many companies, recruitment agencies and managers believing that - 'Hire a woman. She won't jump jobs frequently. She won't demand more salary. She won't confront you for a promotion" (oh yeah!, heard this lot!) Some of  them go as far as saying, "Hire women. They come cheap!"

There are also cases where women are looked over for jobs, just because they are married. There are recruitment folks who ask questions like this - "So now that you are a young mom, how are you going to balance work and home?"

The Self Induced Bad Part:
1. Lack of confidence.
2. Accepting the idea that, you can't put in your best, because you are women.
3. Accepting the idea that you are physically and mentally and even intellectually inferior to men.
4. Not realising that 'Being different from men in general doesn't equate to being Inferior'!

I'm waiting to hear a woman answer back for the above 'mom question' (in green) as - "You know what, it's great that you brought this up! As much as I am breast feeding the baby and trying to get back in shape, my husband, who incidentally became a young dad is also learning to change the diapers, put the baby to sleep and plan his schedule around the baby. This is all new to him and he is doing great. Given that, I had quite a few months to carry the baby in my womb, sleep with a baby in my womb and do everyday activities with it, and given that my managerial skills and technical knowledge did not get erased during that time, I'm going to do great on the job after the baby's birth!"

But a woman who is that confident and rocks at her job - baby or no baby - is so hard to find these days! God! where are they?!

4. Salary and Position:
The Bad Part:
Why don't we find more women members on the executive council of companies? What is the percentage of CEOs, COOs and CFOs who are women? Despite of them being close to 43% of the workforce, why are women-managers so hard to find? Besides do you know that 'On an average the salary a woman takes home is 15% less than men' (Considering services industry and white collar jobs here.) This stems partly from the fact that many companies despite of their claims of gender equality play dirty when it comes to pay-offers.
Though there is an established industry standard salary, when a woman gives a 'ball-park' figure which is less than the standard, they never try to rectify it.

The rest of the damage is done by women themselves.
The Self Induced Bad Part:
Awareness and Confidence:
While male-colleagues keep constantly attending interviews and keep assessing their pay-scale standards even when they don't want to change their job, quite a few women still maintain out-dated resumes. Women don't make an effort to do a 'self-evaluation' of where they stand on  the 'pay-ladder' and 'position-ladder' if they step out of their current position. As far as confidence goes, when the recruitment/HR resource nails you and asks for an 'approximate number', men always quote a tad higher - (What's wrong with asking for more? I might even get it! If not, the HR and I can negotiate on this high number.)
Women on the other hand ask for less - ('God, I don't want to sound greedy! What if the HR totally chucks me off the list because I'm not affordable! Let me give a modest figure, even less than what I want. Then the HR can't deny me.) No, I'm not making this up! This has been psychologically proven! Read up on the Internet.

What women don't understand here is - Salary talk is a negotiation, not a hostile confrontation. In a negotiation both the parties have something beneficial to offer the other, but that does not mean they do not have an individual agenda. If you really ask for unrealistic things, the HR will always set the record straight politely, without making it uncomfortable. (For Gods Sake! that's their job!)

Tangibility of Achievements:
Most woman go into a meeting with their managers without establishing the tangibility of their achievement. They also tend to talk about promotion just before the appraisal.

I deserve a promotion. Why?
Well, I spent working my ass off for 4 years in this position. So?
Common now, You know how much value add I did. It's only fair that I get a promotion. Well, what can I say, Life is not fair... Besides, I don't think the system is so fair that all the managers are going to miraculously realise how you are a critical resource, give you a kiss on the cheek, a gold star on your homework and put a title on your head!
Common, look at how much effort I put in. So?
I streamlined our design and development methodology. So?
You liked it! the client liked it too! So?
All our team save time because of my automated scripts. So?
Well this lead to saving 15% person-hours on the project . Now we are talking!
I created new artifacts as a part of the Knowledge Management for new resources. All the 5 resources who joined us in the last one year used them, their ramp-up time went down by 3 person-days . That's what I'm talking about!

Get the numbers baby! Even then, if your higher management don't care, well it's time for that HR talk. You might be in the wrong place!

I know the world is not fair, but we need to do our part!. So any of my girl friends what want add to this list?
All bricks and kisses invited :)

Why Me?..

Today is one of those really bad days that I've come to hate.

Crazy timelines + Not a single successful task after numerous efforts + A pile of work items for tomorrow + depression when I think about the future + a very restless feeling in the stomach triggered due to imagining worst case scenarios!

Yeah! I just want to jump off the building!
I don't want to! I don't want to! I just want things to move in the right direction!

(super depressed + duper restless)


(telling myself to think about people who fight cancer, autism, mothers who are stuck in labour for more than 8 hours and poverty and abuse around the world)


(counting my blessings, my loved ones and my good health)

Who are you again? / My list of 25 - Part 1

Last month I turned 25. So, I thought it would be a nice idea to re-introduce myself (yeah, a chance to tell all the nice things about myself on the 2nd date. I spilled hot coffee over you on the first date! :P)
So commemerating the 25 years, here are my list of 25 things. Some of them might be things you never knew about me.

1. I love books.
I read fiction a lot. I love thrillers, mysteries. But I also love fat books on economics, finance and advertising. I also love the idea of a library. Not a digital one. A real serious library like those of the 50's era, where you have a sliding ladder to reach those high shelfs. (I know, I can be a crazy romantic sometimes)

2. I love water.
My favorite drink will always be a glass of clean, cold water. Oh! I even find drinking water sexy! I also mentally picture myself getting healthier with every glass of water I drink Though pure mango pulp, single malt scotch, milk and vodka-redbull are somewhere on the list, they will never knock water off its 1st position.

3. I genuinely actively enjoy vegetables.
Peppers, Brocolli, Cauliflower, Spinach, Cabagge, Carrot, Mushroom, Ivy gourd, Bottle gourd, Chillies, everything Leafy, Parsley. I love them all! I heart them!! A few years back, I used to look at the green leafy vegetables in my plate and keep seeing Popeye with great arms in my head! And that's it, I used to clean-sweep my servings.

4. I love gay people.
Yeah! I met very few until now. I honestly loved them all. I can't stand homophobic people. I'm not saying they are no bad gay people at all (I'm sure a person's sexual orientation doesn't define his/her general nature. Gay people can be evil too!). But the few I met were great. Oh! by the way, I think Harvey Milk is one of the coolest people who walked the earth!

5. I badly want an MBA.
I want an MBA from a superb university. The 'superb university' is the only difficult part! I don't equate people's abilities to the university names they attended. But somewhere deep down, I want the awesomeness of a great college name attached to my profile. This is a personal, deep rooted wish, though I don't think every one needs to go to an Ivy-league college and end up as a 'Suit'. Infact, I hate 'Suits'.

6. I want to travel a lot.
I really do! But I never get to do it with my work schedule, meagre yearly leaves and monetary funds.
I just want to trek, live, breath, drink, eat, go crazy while traveling. Personally, I like places with moderate climate. I hate the sweat, the heat and general set of issues which come with getting closer to the equator.My only overseas vacation was to Singapore an Malaysia. I've been to the northen-part of India when I was a kid.

7. I want to settle outside my country of birth.
Yes, I know I'm going to get many complaints and critiscim over this. But that's what I want. I want to settle in  a country with great standard of living, less people, moderate climate, great infra-structure, wonderfully right-brained, broad-minded education system, superb-wine selection, breath-taking mountains (think about the Alps baby!) and a wonderfully peaceful job environment. No! I don't want to keep waiting until this country gets there! My life is happening now. I want something like this within the next 10 years.

8. I want to be a home-owner within the next 2 years.
I want to have a home/real estate piece of my own, more as a real-estate investment by the time I'm 27. No, I don't need a dream house yet. But I want a kick-ass property which sells for a awesome price when I want to look at other investments. I want to own it by 27, which equals to trying to be a great landsape artist when I can't even draw a line!

9. I'm jealous
..of creative people. Musicians, Artists, Potters. I've always wanted to get a chance to learn one creative thing. But, I think writing compensates. I would be proud of myself when I can actually say .."I'm a part-time freelance writer and I'm also working on a book at present". Let's wait and see. I secretly fear that I'll end up being defined only by my corporate job.

10. I genuinely can't think bad.
No, I don't wish that person who has been bad to me falls and breaks his legs. I don't really care about that ass-hole who makes my work-life hell. I can't think evil about them. But, make me sit down and ask for a evil plot for a mystery story. Oh boy! Will there be some tastefull killings? Yep. I can do that and I can think of really crazy ideas for your thrillers.

11. Funnily, I can't watch violence.
I can't. I cringe when I watch some Tamil movies and English movies. I felt sick while watching the 'Black Swan'. It was one crazy, sickening and daunting movie. But, I couldn't stop myself from watching. Apart from this movie, I just change the channel or walk out of violent movies or scenes.

12. My favorite romantic movie is 'A Lot Like Love'
Need I say more? I've seen all the romantic movies starting from 'Pretty Woman' to 'Valentine's day'. Nothing beats A LOT LIKE LOVE. Period! 

Mid-year Goals for 2011

So, I decided to set some mid-year goals in the month of June.
For the sake of actually reaching any of my so called mid-year goals, let's review them on September 30th :)
I have a feeling if I just put it out on paper (or rather blogger!), I might actually have a tiny chance of meeting them.

Financial Goals
Build an Emergency fund of 20K
Build a Travel Fund of 15 K
Build a Gift Fund of 10K (yeah, and I know that this gift fund won't last me even one month with the number of people I gift.)
Build a Fun Fund of 12 K (I never got around to buying  at least one of my fav gadgets, even the low end ones.  My macbook does not count.)
Stop lending money to people who won't pay you back.
Get rid a big chunk of any outstanding debt (part of the student loan, money borrowed from parents etc) - Let's say 40K

Professional Goals
Change you job/Try to find an on-site opportunity/ Try to change fields.
Practice a new language (How long has it been since I practiced my basic French).
Learn a new tool thoroughly. You know you have the time. The tool is Omniture Insight. (You took the first step. Now learn)

Personal Goals
Take a vacation. Plan perfectly. Know how to have fun. Learn how not to lose your head if things don't go at your pace on a vacation.
Stick to a vegetarian diet.
Do some yoga at least 3 times a week (Please! look at your tummy for inspiration!)
Shop only for timeless pieces. Don't buy every stupid dress and piece of jewellery you see.
Get your left earlobe stitched. Long pending. Though people don't notice the tiny elongation, let's just fix it.
Think about MBA. Outline a plan by July.